The little boy cloud had gone away now, the tears were still falling from my eyes memories were flooding my mind and heart and I couldn't stop them no matter how hard I tried.

I knew when Tiny died we took A long trip, Dad didn't know if Momma should go or not her being so big with child, Momma was A very quite person, she also had A strong will and she was going and nothing would stop her so she packed up our clothes and got us ready for the long trip ahead. I know it was some where in Georgia I can't remember if it was Augusta or Columbus, when we arrived A beautiful lady was waiting for us, she and Momma hugged and cried and hugged some more, then she told us she was our Aunt Ginny and that the little girl was our cousin Callie Tate, I so wanted to talk to the little girl I just didn't know how, all I kenw was Momma and the boys. She had A carriage waiting and we all got in it, all but Dad, he went off with someone else, I just can't remember all of the details, oh how I wish I could. We rode for miles or hours it seem like, then we turned off the main road on A road with brick or cobble stone on it, I can still hear the horse hoofs clacking on the driveway and feel the wheels of the carriage on the drive, then as we rounded A curve going up the hill I saw it, what stood before me must be A dream, it could not be real, looming in front of me A large mansion like I had only seen in books it was A large white house with big columns on the porch. I wanted to ask Momma who lived in that big old house, she and Aunt Ginny were talking in low voices and were so engrossed in each other I didn't interrupt to ask. We pulled up in front of the house, A black man came out all dressed up in A suit, he open the carriage door for us and preceeded to lead us into this larger than life house. Momma took J.T. and Robert's hand, I could see she was holding them so tight the blood couldn't even get down to them, Dennis and I walked behind them, heads down we did not know what to do, I thought Momma looked funny in the face like maybe she was mad or going to cry. She just held her head high, walking with and elegance that I had not seen before nor after, as though she had always belonged here.

I didn't know what to make of any of this, we had A nice warm house and plenty to eat and was thought by some to be well off, compared to what I was seeing we were poor folks. Looking at this house and the people I could only wonder who they were and why we were here. They were people all around and I didn't know them, I slipped behind the curtains peeking out to see what was happening, they were all standing around talking, Momma seem to fit right in with them. She looked A lot like the women and Dennis and Robert favored some of the men. I was beginning to get scared so I pulled the curtains closer to me, they were soft velvet and felt so rich and soft and made me feel safe, the furniture I could see was the most beautiful I had ever seen in my life. J.T. finally was looking around and not down, Dennis and Robert just stood very still like the statues I had seen on the big front porch.

Momma finally took notice of us and took us aside and told us this is where she grew up and lived as A child, that the men and women were our Aunts and Uncles. She and Aunt Ginny told us to come along with them to see the house, most of it is A blank to me I remember the soft velvet curtains and the furniture, most of all I remember the dining room and kitchen. The dining area was huge and well furnished, the kitchen wasn't in the house, we had to go down A path made of brick that was covered like A bridge and the kitchen was at the end of it. Their was some black people cooking and getting food for us to eat later,they all stopped working and hugged Momma and talked to her like she was A old friend, she told them who we were her childeren and that her baby boy had gone to live with Jesus and they had brought his body to be put in the family plot. They cried and Momma told them he was happy and well now and not to cry, she told them what she had told to us when Tiny went away. We went back in the house I know we slept there, I can't remember anything about it. We got ready the next morning and headed out in the carriage again, we went to the cemetery and Momma and Aunt Ginny and some lady called Frances were with us. We walked and looked around, there was A long row of little graves like the one they had dug for Tiny and one big one, I over heard them talking about them being Aunt Ginny's children and husband. I know that it seem sad to me that she had all them kids and only one living. Momma had all her kids but one, so I guess we were blessed. I don't remember much about the graveside service or the trip back home.

Not long before Christmas Momma gave birth to another boy baby and named him Carl, I had heard some of our names in the names of the people in Georgia and I guess since Momma didn't see her family much she named us after them to keep them close and in her heart, I had wondered many time if I had dreamed it, now I knew that it was real and not A dream.

Things seem to be back to normal again and we didn't name or talk about the trip or Tiny anymore. Today on my 10th birthday, I was remembering and it was making me very sad, I should have just went on home and helped Momma I would have been happier and my mind would have been to busy to remember. I guess that is what Momma meant when she would say that "Idle hands are the devils play house". I don't think the devil caused me to remember today, I think it was the idle hands. I pulled myself up from the ground and walked back to the bicycle it was getting on toward dust and I had to get home for supper and have A happy smile for everyone, I didn't know if I could or not, I usually picked Momma some flowers, not today I just wanted to get home to the warmth and love of family and home, to forget the memories that had came flooding back in my mind and heart.

No one knew that the smile I had was hiding the hurt in my heart, Momma, Dad, Grandpa Johnson and the boys were waiting for me, we did have fried cabbage, by far my favorite food and some little cakes Momma had baked, I don't know where she found time to do them, they sure were good and we all enjoyed it. Now I was ten years old and knew that I was going to be Momma's helper for the rest of my life. That didn't bother me, I knew now how much she loved us and that she did appreciate all I did to help, I just wished Momma would talk more about her family in Georgia and I could tell her about the sadness in my heart, I couldn't and she wouldn't, so life would go on and most days were happy and full of sunshine, some days were more like A storm had came to live in our house and wouldn't go away. Just looking at Momma's face made me happy, I only hoped in my heart I could be like her when I was all grown up and had my own family.

It would be many years before I knew the story of why Momma couldn't go home again.